It was a pleasant Saturday afternoon in Bangalore, one could say. There was a light breeze, a little chilly and yet, not discomforting.
Now where was I lurking around in such a beautiful day? The tiny pocket of my human owner. They say these jeans pockets are big but only we new-age mobile phones understand what kind of suffocation it might cost. Hell, I have had sudden bouts of claustrophobia often — that’s the reason why my battery dies so fast!
Anyway, I’m drifting away from the subject.
As I was saying, it was a nice afternoon, I was in my owner’s (who is crazy btw) tight jeans pocket. And suddenly, I felt it coming. My belly started vibrating, my ears turned red and it came.
Wow, that was a sudden one. Oh, wait!
“PING!” “PING!” “PING!” “PING!” “PING!” “PING!” “PING!” “PING!”
Also read: Mary Kom is Boxing, Boxing is Mary Kom
What the hell! Now my owner had been attracted. Damn. There was the hand coming for me, and okay… it was time to light up (or as humans, our inventors, call wake up)!
My human (as I like to call him) picked me up and opened the notifications bar.
To my surprise, the several pings were not text or Whatsapp or Facebook or even Instagram messages! They were all notifications from the Blue Bird app (Twitter, stupid — again, as I like to call it).
To further add to my initial shock, I saw my human’s face changing from ignorant to slightly perturbed to completely amused — all in less than a minute. To understand what was going on (only because I was worried about my human, I don’t usually go sneaking around disregarding his privacy; no sir, I don’t), I took a small peek into what the Blue Bird had to say.
“I thank @narendramodi sir for his initiative to honour and empower women this Diwali. Acknowledgement motivates us to work harder and make India proud. #bharatkilaxmi.” — the first one read.
Okay, moving on.
“I thank @narendramodi sir for his initiative to honour and empower women this Diwali. Acknowledgement motivates us to work harder and make India proud. #bharatkilaxmi.” — the second one read.
“I thank @narendramodi sir for his initiative to honour and empower women this Diwali. Acknowledgement motivates us to work harder and make India proud. #bharatkilaxmi.” — the third one read.
Still, nothing new.
And I don’t know if anyone would trust a new-age mobile phone (after all, we are capable of mass destruction) but every single notification read the same! Every tweet was identical barring the name of the person who tweeted.
In all the tweets, this one human (who appears to be very important) was thanked for taking certain initiatives for women empowerment. Okay, I understand thanking someone for such great work, but why were all the messages identical?
I could not understand. Was it some kind of joke? Was it yet another trend? Was it a meme? Who knows. Only ‘humans’ can answer.
(Disclaimer: This is written as a satirical article, and should not be taken literally. It is a work of fiction written for the purpose of humour only.)