There are nights I don’t sleep, but I still show up |By Lokesh Sathyanathan

There are nights I can’t go to sleep for one week straight… sometimes even two weeks.

From the road accident in 2019, I was diagnosed with tinnitus or ringing in my ears. I still struggle with a cervical spine bulge in my neck. If I don’t do treat it with a massage once or twice a week, I get vertigo.

I came to the United States in 2022. Soon after I lost my grandmother, who I was very close with. Then it became even tougher. From September to mid-January, I had sleeping issues for almost three and a half months.

I was rarely sleeping… maybe four or five hours.

After Christmas, I ended up in an emergency room at 4 a.m. In my sleep, I got a pretty bad panic attack.

I couldn’t breathe. My heart rate went very high. My blood pressure was 195. They prescribed me panic attack meds, antidepressants, and sleeping pills. I carry them even today, everywhere I go for my competitions.

All of these factors play a huge role in my performance. Lack of sleep interrupts my training.

Even then I would just wake up, go to my classes, do my training, and come back. But I tell myself, no matter what, I’m just going to show up. Because every day is an opportunity to be better.

I just go out there, train, come back, make myself tired, and try to fall asleep.

“This is not where you belong”

I started with football. My dad is a football player, and I always wanted to be like him.

Whenever the ball came to me, I would just run as fast as I could.

One day, he told me, “This is not where you belong. You belong somewhere else.”

He took me to the Kanteerava Stadium. That’s where I started track and field.

My coach, told me, “You’re going to do 100 meters and long jump.” I had no idea what it meant but I just said yes.

In my first competition in Bengaluru, I ran 14.27s and jumped around 3.5m from behind the board.

I won two gold medals. In school, they would announce my name in the assembly. I was shy and nervous, but those moments were special. Those moments brought me here.

When I came to the NCAA in 2022, my freshman year was good.

That’s when I first jumped 8m in the conference championship. I had a conference record and became the performer of the year. I made it to the NCAA finals in my first year.

In my second year, things didn’t go as I thought. During a training session in the weight room, my teammate dropped weights on my leg. I had to go through two surgeries.

Then I had to come back to India before transferring again and starting from scratch.

The first year under my coach again, I jumped 8.14m. I also jumped 7.92m indoors, which was my personal best at that time.

I had the NCAA lead for the whole outdoor season. As an Indian athlete, it was a great honor to have those moments.

This year, we were not chasing a mark. We were working on little things which make a huge difference.

In competitions prior to the NCAA Indoor Finals, I had big jumps, 8.20m, 8.30m, but they were fouls. Even when I had valid jumps, small mistakes in landing cost me distance.

We realized that the good jumps were around the corner. It was just about getting the little things right. I had a lot of 7.9m jumps, which is already 8m – its just a matter of how good your landing is.

That’s where you lose distance. I jumped 8.01m and made a national record. Then I broke it again. You can see all the hard work falling into place.

I don’t set a specific target distance for myself. Because that puts a limit on your mind and your potential.

I just work towards being better each day. Every time I compete, I want to do greater things than the last time.

I always wanted to be part of a good support system, I got it at the NCAA and back home with Reliance. That was a big confidence booster.

I believe in God. I’m always grateful for the people around me.

And no matter what happens…I show up.